Stepping out … oddly.

I wore odd shoes to work the other day.
They weren’t odd in colour, but definitely odd in style.

When I arrived at the office and noticed them for the first time, I was more bemused than embarrassed, thinking there was no real cause for concern. Reactions however to my wardrobe malfunction were mixed.
Some laughed, others were confused. Then there were those who gave me `the look’. You know, the look that beggars belief that you could do something so stupid.

So I’ve decided there are two types of people in the world, those who wear odd shoes to work and those who don’t.
In my world, it was quite a simple and mistake to make. I have several pairs of black shoes and having recently tidied my bedroom and lined them up in my cupboard like snags on a barbie, I dived in and slipped on a couple without noticing they didn’t match.
They were black, that’s all I needed to know.

Later, when I was laughing about this to my friend Mes, I was forced to stop mid sentence because she had `the look’. Clearly, a never-wear-odd-shoes person, she was completely puzzled at how I couldn’t complete the simple task of matching my footwear. In her world, shoes were matched, no excuse.
I was just as perplexed at why she thought it was such a big deal. Obviously, I lamely offered, I do know which shoe goes with which.
“Then why didn’t you match them?” she snorted.

Trying to explain that it was dark in the cupboard and that I was in a hurry, just didn’t cut it.
“Thank god you’ve got blonde hair, or you’d have no excuse,” was her retort.

In fairness to Mes, I had form. Just a few months before, I sort of forgot her address. I say `sort of’ because I know very well how to get Mes’s house. My ex however, who was visiting from England and dropping our daughter off for a play, had no idea. He had even less after my instructions. Although I had armed him with clear directions, the flaw in my plan lay in the actual destination because I told him the wrong street name.
Thank goodness, I thought, our daughter was on the ball and convinced him it was the right house despite the street name. Thank goodness, I’m sure he thought, he was no longer married to such an airhead.
I figure that people who wear odd shoes also lose their cars in car parks very easily.
I did that after a huge concert at Allphones Arena. At midnight I was still wondering aimlessly from floor to floor looking for my car when I arrived at ground and asked the very nice security guard if he could help me. I was very relieved when he didn’t seem at all surprised, people must do it all the time. But then he gave me `the look’. Lifting one brow, he pointed behind me to my car, about 50m away. How could I not remember entering the car park on the ground floor?

One thing I do remember clearly though after my four laps of the car park, is the pair of black heels dangling from my wrist.
They were a perfect match.

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